I was taking a walk around my neighborhood on a quiet, cold winter morning at the beginning of this new year when my word of the year came to me:
Pause.
I stopped, took a deep breath, and let myself soak in the serenity of my surroundings. And I vowed that I would do more of just that this year.
After the challenges of the past year and the relentless guarantee of uncertainty in our future, we owe it to ourselves to pause. To find the magic in moments. To realize the gifts that still come our way, even in tumultuous times.
Pause is more than just a guiding principle for me this year, though.
It's a challenge.
I'll be the first to admit: In both my relationships and my business, I'm a doer. I respond quickly. I work fast.
I'm driven by to-do lists, and I find great satisfaction in crossing tasks off.
Beyond that, I also find great discomfort in what Brené Brown calls the "messy middle." I prefer to have things resolved.
In other words, rather than embracing the pause, my natural inclination is — and has always been — to react.
This hasn't always worked well for me.
Yes, I've built a reputation as a responsive business owner; a reliable friend; a responsible parent.
And.
When I don't take time to pause and let myself feel the feelings that arise, I often respond in a way that doesn't align with who I am and how I want to show up for others.
When I don't pause, fear reacts first.
A fear of letting others down. A fear of sitting in the uncertainty of something not being resolved. A fear of what my feelings will tell me if I actually take the time to listen.
But when I accept the challenge and make space for a pause, I can respond from a place of solid ground. I can reply with greater thoughtfulness. I can act with greater integrity.
Even when the pause means getting uncomfortable. Even when it feels like there's no time.
The pandemic has dialed down the world in so many ways, and turned it up in others. In pausing, we can consider what's really important.
Pause before hitting send. Pause before making a decision. Pause to feel; to ponder; to breathe. The to-do list will be there tomorrow.
Make sure pausing is on it.
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P.S. Sometimes I pull over in the car just to stare at the wide open spaces that surround me in the Finger Lakes. I give my gratitude to the winter snow; the spring flowers; the green hills of summer; the continuously changing colors of autumn. If I rush by, I miss it — and it's never quite the same when I return. It reminds me of a question I asked last summer: What's possible if we just slow down?