“CiCi, it’s snowing!”
My 3-year old grandson’s excited voice rang out through the room, beckoning me over to the window to see the flakes fall.
It was our first snowfall of the season here in New York State earlier this week, and I was fortunate enough to be with Henry at the time.
He couldn’t wait to get his hat and gloves out, pull on his snow boots, and experience the feel, smell, and taste of the freshly fallen snow that the ground was struggling to hold onto.
I’ll admit: I didn’t share his level of excitement.
Instead of wonder and awe, my heart suddenly felt…heavy.
A list started forming in my head.
Decorate the house, bake the cookies, design the cards, get the tree…
I felt the weight of it.
In that moment, I shoved it aside to indulge in the magic of the winter wonderland being created outside with my grandson.
But this morning, the list began to replay in my head as I checked the calendar.
As the heaviness began to return, I wondered…
How can I get that childlike wonder back? How can I experience the magic inside of me? How can I feel that joy?
In the past, all of these pieces of the holiday season brought me so much joy. This year, they feel like items on a list that have to be checked off.
I’ve been feeling a lot of this in my life lately. Not just around the holiday to-dos, but in my businesses, in my home…
Things that I typically enjoy have begun to feel like have-tos instead of get-tos.
When that happens, I stop feeling the magic.
As I write this all down now, answers are showing up in the way they tend to.
Slow down.
Eliminate what’s not necessary.
Walk in the woods.
Read. Write. Pray. Paint.
Connect with friends.
Not everything has to get done.
And not everything has to have the jaw-dropping awe of a 3-year old witnessing their first snowfall of the season.
But so much of what we do can be more joy-filled if we approach it with presence.
Folding the laundry? There’s no real magic there. But there’s joy to be had when I can put on one of my favorite playlists and allow myself to feel the different textures and warmth of the towels.
Driving to an appointment? I can call a friend to catch up or sit in much-needed silence as I appreciate the landscapes of the beautiful Finger Lakes region.
Making my Christmas list, and checking it twice? I can eliminate the things that aren’t going to bring me joy this year (knowing they may well in the future), and focus on the things that light me up and mean the most for myself and my family right now.
Life is full of things we can do.
There are myriad things we feel like we have to do.
And there are so many things we get to do.
One of my favorite Dr. Maya Angelou quotes that I’ve surely shared here before goes like this: “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
I carry this into my interactions with the people and strangers in my life, but I also take it to heart when looking at my to-do list.
How can I make things feel better?
When I get curious about how I can bring more joy into the things that remain on my list, the magic reappears.
This time of year can be especially tough for many people. If that’s you, take heart. Have courage. Slow down. Don’t worry about getting it all done. Focus on what lights you up and let yourself feel the magic where you can.
I’ll be over here looking ahead to the next snow, ready to steep my tea and watch the flakes fall.
P.S. It seems I have this same question — about renewing wonder — around this time, every year. Life truly is cyclical, and some lessons have to keep being learned.