As we packed up our easels on our last day together in rural Tennessee, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of loss.
It was, after all, our final invite-only, small group workshop with Lori Putnam, our incredibly talented tour guide who’s nurtured us through countless lessons in our artistry.
My fellow journey-goers and I, now a tight-knit crew of artists who’ve been through four intimate workshops on Lori’s land with her, were on the cusp of being set free; of flying the coop; of earning our wings.
So with that sense of loss came a real sense of excitement, because not only was I about to embark upon a new phase in my calling as an artist…
I also began embracing the lesson I needed most during this last workshop; a lesson I feel I’ve been learning for years:
Learning to live in the colorful grays.
I tend to be an all-or-nothing thinker. Nowhere is this more blatantly apparent than in my plein air paintings, where my shadows tend to show up as the deepest darks they can be.
In Lori’s words, I sometimes take my shadows to “a scary place.”
Maybe it’s the recent passing of my dad. Maybe it’s the shift I’m feeling in my career from a designer to a full-time painter. Maybe it’s the weight of the world right now. Maybe it’s the soon-to-be arrival of my newest grandchild…
The grief I’ve felt, coupled with the excitement and joy I’m experiencing, has made me realize that when shadows appear, I need not go to that scary place.
I’ve experienced enough light to be able to explore the lighter, the warm, and the cool shades of gray.
For nine days together, we studied color. We experimented with gouache. We worked to create an imbalance of the light with the shadow using Notans and sketches.
And in a curious twist of process, we found ourselves collecting info while on the grounds of Bloomsbury Organic Farms in Smyrna, TN. Not painting a particular scene; but assembling a story.
We studied the details: The colors, the values, the light, the shadows. We sketched. We created palettes.
Then, we returned to Lori’s studio, where we told our own version of what we saw in our final painting.
Without the trick of the light right in front of me, and without the deceiving contrast a photo captures, I had only my notes and my memories for reference.
I felt myself embracing these colorful, lighter grays — not painting en plein air; not painting from a photo sitting next to my canvas back in the studio… but bringing in real creativity and composition to tell a story all my own.
I dug deeper into my own reserves, understood more of what I was putting on the page, and ultimately created a piece that embodies my voice even more.
Living in the colorful gray is freeing.
It’s also intimidating.
When we cast the rules aside; break from certain constraints… it frees us up to bring our creativity to the table.
And with that creativity can come uncharted territory.
It’s my plan to stay curious; to keep exploring the warm and cool grays.
I am so grateful for all I’ve learned from Lori. And. I’m grateful she’s kicking us out of the nest.
I cannot wait to see where I land.